The Daily Writes

Involuntary Spasms

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I am afraid of heights. My gut clenches when I stand near a ledge or even when I see something high on TV. I tell my husband that one never knows when they may have an involuntary body spasm and accidentally throw themselves from a high space.

He used to laugh at this but as we watch our son grow, he realizes that there is some credibility to my theory. Our son regularly experiences these types of spasms. He will be standing or walking and all of a sudden, he will fall over or jerk around and lose his balance, a daily example of involuntary body spasms.

I realized recently that there are also involuntary bouts of insecurity. Usually these come at a certain time in the month. But I now believe they can be as random as involuntary body spasms.

Questions that I would normally consider stupid come out of the blue. “I wonder if my new friend really likes me” or, “ Did I seem too pushy in that email?” After quick mental calculations, and a scan of how the day is going, I decide my brain is having a spasm.

My son looks at me sometimes when he is crying, I can tell he is waiting to see how I will respond or comfort him. Depending on the situation, I will likely look at him and say, “I know buddy, this stinks. Let it out, tell me how you feel.” I do this so he can cry his way through his feelings. This is the way to handle involuntary bouts of insecurity. Let them run amok for awhile and they will likely pass.

Bringing back the garage

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We’re bringing back the garage. In February, we moved our little family from a modern condo on the 7th floor of a downtown building to a single-family home in a quiet neighborhood. It is an adjustment, although we have now fully embraced the “city suburbs”.

We find ourselves enjoying the house, but the room that gets the most use is the garage. We’ve converted the garage into a playroom, tool shop, and adult hang out. We even went so far as to purchase chairs with flip up side tables and drink holders.

The garage door is open often, with us listening to retro music and playing with Luke. Friends come by and we bring the food and drinks down. We have dinner parties, in the garage.

The garage makes community building easier. It harkens back to a simpler time. Every time we have a drink I want to grab a plastic tumbler or a watery beer. We have a garage boom box that doesn’t have a CD player or a USB port (part of what I love about it). IF it did I’d pop in a Van Halen or Bon Jovi Greatest Hits album and all would be right with the world.

What I saw today

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Today I spent quite a bit of time on Muni and walking through the Castro and SOMA. In just a few short hours I ran across so many interesting sights, I was reminded of the reasons I love this city. It is visually stimulating in a very hearty way. Like an awesome, rich and well put together piece of lasagna, it forces you to savor and sit back occasionally.

Here is what I saw and heard today:

The huge PRIDE flag over the Castro muni stop, snapping in the wind as the fog moved out.

A homeless man who had let go of any verbal plea and opted instead for just shoving his hand toward me as I walked by.

A crowded train full of rushed, tense people suddenly overrun at a stop by a band of 10 1st graders who breathed a bit of life into the car with their shenanigans.

A sweet little girl and her mother on a lunch date under the dome at SF Centre.

Dandruff on many of the passengers on the packed-like-sardines train car I took home at rush hour.

A surprising level of humanity and consideration exhibited by those packed in passengers as we jostled about and remained tolerant while more and more people packed in at each stop.

Sadness in the face of a friend while he talked about his frustrating search for a partner.

Joy in the face of another as she shared the early stages of a romance going well.

Glee on the face of my sweaty, active little boy when he saw me after a day away from each other.

 

Trivial Pursuits

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I cruise Facebook often. It is my go to source for news updates, current events, mom’s forums and just arbitrary and interesting things.

Recently, I’ve become obsessed with taking meaningless quizzes. Somehow, finding out what type of personality I have based on my favorite color is interesting. And seeing who my 80’s movie boyfriend would have been seems like a worthwhile pursuit.

Last night, I was taking a quiz about how well I know big 80’s hair bands. In a rare move, my husband asked what I was doing and moved closer to me so he could join in. Secretly I was excited, I would for sure ace a quiz about hair bands, as this was my go to music as a teen.

When we finished the quiz I scrolled through to find another that my husband would be interested in. The “Do you know everything?” quiz caught my eye. This one would work, my husband knows quite a bit of random facts, and he thinks he knows everything.

We launched in and he easily rattled off the answers. We came to one question about whether you could see the Great Wall of China from space, he answered yes. We were notified that the answer was incorrect. I tried to move on but he was perturbed. We finished the quiz and he was still a dog with a bone on the Great Wall question, although the quiz score, which reported that he did, in fact, know almost everything, momentarily comforted him.

On a Friday, the pursuit of trivial seems like a good idea. As a shout out to prepping the brain for a relaxing weekend, see if this quiz can guess your age with three questions. Or find out your nickname in a past life here.

 

 

About Boobs

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I recently stumbled upon some writing from my first few months of pregnancy and will be sharing it occasionally on The Daily Writes. Pregnancy was such a wild ride, and is quite funny from the other side.

Six weeks pregnant….today I write about boobs. Breasts. Two beautiful breasts I used to have. Now, I am in the early stages of pregnancy and I have a bosom. Just one, large heaving bar of bosom trapped in my bra. I have a muffin top look now, over the top of the bra, that pooch that comes out when the bra is too small. And a bosom. I struggle with finding a positive place to live in my head. I struggle to find something to wear that works for me. In reality, it’s not as bad as my head makes it, but then again that’s how it goes with me and my body; the relationship has always been tough and altered. And now I am pregnant, what a ride it will be.  I’m trying to live by a quote I heard recently, “expand beyond the edges”.  Oh, how true that is, in both a figurative and literal sense. I will embrace my bosom, heave it around with pride and attitude.