I have been married over five years now to an amazing and fairly particular man. It’s pretty much a miracle that we got married in the first place, since we are the Grand Tetons of stubbornness. We both have a “few” issues with control (note sarcasm), and we have incredibly different personalities. I had to pry my way into his life through uncomfortable tactics like changing up the way he loaded the dishwasher, and rebelling against his strong belief in “standard towel folding practice.” He proved himself to be the most tenacious man I know by holding steady in his pursuit of me through what he calls “The Grover”; Near…Far…Near…Far.
Marriage is a particularly fascinating dance. One of the best truths I’ve ever heard spoken about what makes for a good marriage comes from an older couple from New Hampshire. A craggy pair of old school Italians with a great sense of humor, when asked what they think the secret to a happy marriage is the wife answered, “It’s simple, you can’t both want a divorce at the same time. Because honey, you will want a divorce, trust me, but as long as you don’t both want it at the same time things are fine.” The husband nodded, “Yep, she’s right. You can’t both want a divorce at the same time. That’s the secret.”
As I type, my husband asked me to pass him a tissue. In the early days I’d give him the whole box and he would get frustrated. “I just need one,” he’d say. Really? How could you only need one tissue and why is a box not more thoughtful? Tonight, slightly older and wiser to the ways of being a wife, I hand him a single tissue and he is happy.